Everyone I know has been complaining loudly because this summer has flown by. I do not relate as it currently feels like I’m stuck in the eighth week of August with no end in sight.
Alas, it’s only August 14 which also happens to be my birthday.
I’ve had people suggest that I shouldn’t feel bad about my birthday. I don’t.
They say that 49 isn’t so old. Ahem. I agree.
“Next year is the big one,” they say. Isn’t every year a big one?
We don’t get that many birthdays and there’s no knowing how many there will be. Aging is a privilege not afforded to everyone and we should view each new candle on the cake as something positive. Those laugh lines? Reminders of happy days. The white hair I try to disguise? A sign of longevity. The creaky joints and bad knee? Battle wounds.
I have survived. I’m still here telling stories and figuring things out as I go.
I don’t feel pressure to have things figured out by now because I choose to view every day as an opportunity to learn and to do better if I can.
The world is my classroom and it’s a pass/fail grading system. I’m doing ok and I’m exactly where I am meant to be. White hairs, sluggish thyroid and all.
Is this the year I will finally write my book? Is this the year that I start traveling more regularly again? Is this the year I finally win that lottery that I never actually play?
Only if I try.
Trying is hard sometimes. Discipline and focus are hard. Remembering that our place in this vast world is quite small and that we need to earn our keep and maintain perspective is hard. Letting go of the desire to micromanage and to allow the chips to fall where they may is hard.
Today is my birthday. It’s the first day of the rest of my life. It’s also the first day of the rest of yours.
It’s my birthday and I’m inviting you to celebrate. Don’t celebrate my birthday. Just celebrate the day. Go learn something or go somewhere you haven’t been. Find some little diner and treat yourself to a big piece of pie or a dish of ice cream. Or both. Life is short.
Celebrate the first day of the rest of your life. The bank gives us our birthday off so I’ll be out enjoying mine too.
There’s a quote that is widely attributed to Vincent Van Gogh despite there being no proof he actually said it. It says “Normality is a paved road: it’s comfortable to walk but no flowers grow on it.”
Even if he didn’t say it, I would like to think he might have agreed. Van Gogh today is one of the most famous painters of all time. Even if you aren’t an “art person,” you’ve likely seen Van Gogh’s most recognizable works on everything from calendars and screen savers to phone cases and wallets.
During his lifetime though, Van Gogh struggled. He was born into an upper middle class family but mental illness haunted him and his story ended prematurely thanks to a self inflicted gunshot wound. The impressionistic painter saw no commercial success in his lifetime and yet had such a unique world view his works are among the most moving and timeless you’ll ever see.
The road for Van Gogh was anything but paved and easy. Maybe that’s why he was able to give us flowers and stars and massive skies – things that we all need but don’t always see well for ourselves while we build our lives on whatever road we can carve out.
I have been fortunate to see several of his paintings in person and to do the immersive 3D installation (pictured) when it came to Columbus a few years ago.
His paintings are some of the most easily recognized in a museum and I will always stop in my tracks to admire them. There’s something that feels like they are about to explode out of the frame. They have movement. If you move fast enough, you might catch a falling star or pluck a flower from the vase.
Van Gogh’s life clearly was hard and the commercial success that came in the decades following his death seems bittersweet given that it was too little too late for him. I wish it were easier for him but I’m grateful for all that he accomplished on his life’s road.
Who needs normal when you can have sunflowers? Ask yourself that the next time you feel bad about yourself or want to take an alternate path. Who needs normal? Go do the things that bring you more flowers and stars.
This summer has been almost completely void of adventure and there’s a good reason for that. You see, I have been staying home because of a remodeling project in my master bathroom.
My wonderful cousin did the work for me but he mostly could only work on Saturdays so all my day trip days were spent at home. Also, all my day trip money was spent on this project so that worked out nicely! Ha!
Normally by this time I would have at least five or six really good day trips under my belt and maybe some hikes. Instead, I have been doing household chores and reading while Nathan worked.
Now the work is done and I’m thrilled to have things put together and looking nice. He did a great job!
The project started because there was a leak at the shower. Repairing that leak was a good excuse to replace the flooring because carpet in a bathroom is an awful idea. As long as we were doing that, it made sense to replace the 23 year old toilet and stand alone tub and then there was the matter of the sink….
You get the idea.
It was a pyramid scheme, this bathroom of mine.
But it’s all done with fixtures and colors that I find timeless and calming. This wall is the focal point. There’s still some work to be done with rearranging things. I like the variety of old and new, farmhouse and polish, gold next to black metal and white fixtures.
I value the small details like this hook for my pjs. The swan reminds me of my stay at the Broadmoor where there are nods to the swans around the property.
The shower is a pure delight in the morning with vintage style knobs and a great shower head. I especially lIke the pretty doors but decided to frame them with some sheer curtains just to soften the room a bit. Unfortunately the glass is so shiny and nice that it’s impossible to get decent picture without lots of reflections with the lights on – and it looks really terrible with the lights out. But you get the idea.
And I’m really happy with the new sink and faucet too! I have always liked this style of sink. The pump style faucet is very low flow but it suits my needs just fine.
And, of course, the house panther has already chewed on the new house plant so much that I had no choice but to move it from this corner already. It was nice while it lasted!
By the way, the flower pot is McCoy and the little stand is an old smoking stand. Both pieces came from the Logan Antique Mall, one of my favorite places to find hidden treasure.
In all, it turned out well and I’m pleased to have a space that feels special even on a regular old workday. It’s comfortable and feels a little like it has always been this way. I am not a fancy person but do appreciate the quiet luxury of pretty pictures on the wall, a great soaker tub after a long day, and powerful shower heads to wake me up in the morning!
Friends, while we may enjoy our adventures, it’s important to have a happy place to come home to. While I’m sad for what I’ve missed out on the world this summer, I’m so grateful to have this sanctuary to call my own.
This is a word I have thought about a lot lately. I’m trying to align how I spend my time with what I value. I’m trying to spend my money with companies whose values are similar to my own or at least whose values are things I can live with. I’m trying to be careful to not allow people whose opinions I do not value drag down my energy. I’m trying to question the true values of those who want something from me. I find that some people will manipulate you at every turn if they want your vote/money/help regardless of whose grandmother they have to sell to get their way.
Values matter.
This week, I took two very small actions to speak up for my values. Last night I went to Wheatberry Bookstore in downtown Chillicothe where I bought a couple of books. I’m calling them birthday gifts for myself because, as my mother would say, I need more books like I need another hole in my head.
This won’t stop me from buying them, mind you, but my birthday is coming and who can argue with presents?
Buying books is hardly an act of revolution but Wheatberry is a charming independent bookstore in a downtown where small businesses are suffering because of construction. Honestly, it isn’t nearly as bad as locals think it is and I had no trouble navigating where I needed to be.
If I want them to survive, I need to make sure I’m supporting them. Granted, my two book purchase won’t make that much of a difference but my two books and your two books and someone else’s two books will add up.
I value having a bookstore nearby and I value the programs, kids stuff, and community mindedness they bring to the table. Supporting authors is important to me as is making sure a variety of books are accessible locally.
I need to act like they matter.
The other thing I did was join in a chorus of voices expressing our dissatisfaction that the Ohio Department of Natural Resources (ODNR) was entertaining the idea gas powered boats should be allowed on Lake Hope.
In a busy, noisy and all together sometimes unpleasant world, Lake Hope is a last bastion of quiet and calm. I hike there. I know people who bird watch and pass the day floating around in their kayaks. I have sat near the shore reading and solving all the world’s problems beneath a peaceful autumn sky. The air is cleaner and the world feels lighter once your boots hit the trail at Lake Hope State Park.
I get irritated when people are hiking with loud music or let their kids scream like banshees on a forest trail. Yes, I sound like an old crank but that kind of noise scares away the wildlife and ruins the experience for everyone around. I certainly don’t want to listen to someone’s boat motor.
So I wrote a letter like many people and became part of a movement that forced ODNR to listen. A single voice might not have mattered but a lot of us together brought meaningful change.
Humans need a place where we can go for free and listen to the frogs, watch a squirrel scurry up a tree, and witness a turtle sunbathing on a half submerged log. We need a place to go where your only job is to enjoy the aroma of pine trees and the crunch of fallen leaves underfoot.
The wonderful thing about living in America is that we can make individual contributions that will matter. A single snowflake is hardly noticeable but put enough of them together and you might have a blizzard on your hands.
Contact your politicians. Stand up for what you know is right. Support the businesses you want to keep in your community. Get your friends to help too.
Exercise your right to free speech and stand up for what matters to you. Living your values is how things get done.
I was leaving a shop in downtown Jackson, Ohio when I happened to look up. Check out this view. All these brightly painted buildings really popped against the gloomy sky. Rain was coming but it didn’t matter because the colors were so pretty.
Whether you look at this photo and see a gloomy sky or pretty buildings is up to you. Just know that life is a little easier when you embrace the happy colors than when you only focus on the bad.
Have a great Monday, friends. Go look for something beautiful today!
My community took a hit this week when an unspeakable crime was discovered against sixteen children. The Ohio Attorney General called it the worst he’s ever seen. While they can’t share many details of this ongoing investigation, phrases like “third world conditions” and “pure evil” have been thrown about.
I live in the least populated county in Ohio. There are about 13,000 people in this county of 415 square miles. This is not a wealthy community and, like many places, we have plenty of problems.
But it’s such a nice place to live.
Our community is rural with just a handful of small towns. We are largely a bedroom community with only one traffic light and no Walmart. There’s a locally owned grocery, pharmacist and hardware. There are a couple of dollar stores and a number of mom and pop businesses. The University of Rio Grande just dedicated a new branch building here. There are very few large employers and a huge chunk of our population commutes outside the county for jobs. Remote work has been a Godsend for many. We are close though to towns with shopping, iobs and healthcare. Our idea of traffic involves farm tractors, school buses and Amish buggies. For many, money is tight and for many more that live beneath the federal poverty line, life is hard.
What we do have is rolling hills, miles of recreational trails through public lands, and a population that largely looks out for one another. It’s the kind of place where people still bring food when someone dies and where folks will check on their neighbors in a heat wave.
We have a growing tourism industry here. What we lack in shopping and amusement parks we make up for with outdoor recreation, unique places to stay (there’s a castle, tons of cabins, and even a hobbit themed Airbnb), and the small town authenticity that many folks from cities are craving.
It’s a good place to vacation. It’s a great place to live if you enjoy the quiet life.
This week has been rough though. This week, the decent citizens of my beautiful community have been rocked to their core.
Four people were arrested for endangering sixteen children who evidently all belong to their family. Sixteen kids from toddler up to an 18 year old were kept in their own filth in a 12 x 12 room. Reading between the lines, there is much more to the story.
First responders say that, a day later, they can still smell the place. There’s no getting rid of the smell. The prosecutor said it looked like something out of a third world country and that some of the kids were in such bad shape they may not have survived another day. The Ohio Attorney General said it was the worst thing he’s seen in his career. Neighbors say they didn’t even know there were kids in the house. There were no signs that children lived there at all.
The governor is offering whatever aid is needed to support the physical and mental well being of those kids.
It is sickening. It is tragic. It is one of the worst things I’ve ever heard and I’m struggling to comprehend that it happened here.
If you look around, our residents are seeking ways to help out and to support our first responders who have witnessed things this week that no human should have to see. People are collecting money to help those kids. They’re planning snacks and cold drinks for the first responders. They’re gathering to pray. They’re actively seeking ways to help in a situation that feels so hopeless.
The city media that doesn’t give us the time of day when amazing things happen here are suddenly sending multiple reporters from each agency for this one story. My Facebook feed is overrun with videos from press conferences and with mug shots of four individuals who look like monsters.
These people chose to live here but they aren’t from here. They’ve moved around a lot and somehow landed here in a small house in a small town with very big heart.
Now cue the hillbilly jokes. Cue the stereotypes. Cue the judgment against a population that would never condone such a thing had we known.
I have got to stop reading internet comments.
The Appalachian stereotype is alive and well. References to the movie Deliverance, statements that they look like everyone else here, and even remarks about the judge’s hair have been part of the discourse. Nasty remarks about the court system and the law enforcement community, about the intelligence of our population and about everything else you can imagine abound.
The media has long portrayed this community in a negative light. Internet comments have intensified the meanness toward our population and place but it’s nothing new. I’ve heard the judgement and the jokes for my entire life and have spent a lot of my career trying to prove them all wrong.
I think it’s important to note that these people have been moving around and abusing these children for a while now. It took them coming to Ohio’s smallest county with the fewest resources for anyone to notice and do something about it.
That’s the headline everyone is missing.
We may not have much but we pay attention and know how to get things done.
I am proud to be from Vinton County, Ohio. I’m proud of our citizens for looking for ways to be helpful. I’m proud of our first responders who played a part in giving those kids a chance at a new life.
Small communities are amazing places. I don’t care what the keyboard warriors say.
If you’re looking for a peaceful place, somewhere that’s not flashy with a good coffee shop and some amazing trails, consider coming here to see what life is really like in a small town. Rural America is so much more than the headlines tell you. So, if not here, go find another rural community and look for the good.
