Tag Archives: mental health

A Walk Around The Ridges

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Imagine fighting for your country only to come home with terrible nightmares and debilitating PTSD. Then imagine your family taking you to an institution where you are cared for by strangers, abandoned by the people you love most. Imagine fighting for your country and then being buried on a hillside in the woods with a simple slab that identifies you just as “283.”

Imagine having postpardum depression and being sent away from your children by your husband who can’t handle your being sad. Imagine being unable to leave without your husband or a male family member signing you out. Imagine your husband  abandoning you there so he can divorce you and marry someone else to care for your kids. 

Imagine being old and sick, perhaps forgetful and sent to live in an asylum. Imagine being committed because you were a moody woman or one who reads too much and has too many opinions.

These are all perfectly acceptable reasons why real human beings were committed to places like the Athens Lunatic Asylum. I have written before about a similar asylum called the Trans Allegheny Lunatic Asylum in West Virginia. You can read here about the day I toured that place.

The old asylum on the hill in Athens is not open for tours. Intead, it’s owned by Ohio University and repurposed into an art museum, campus police, research space and class space. You can also explore the grounds and there are nature trails. There’s also room for events, an adventure course and sports fields. 

My response to being there is always so complex. I look at these stately old buildings and can’t help but wonder about the atrocities that went on in this facility. They famously conducted partial labotomies here. Plus, the sheer horror of just being a smart woman whose freedoms were stripped away by a weak husband hits pretty close to home. 

And don’t think it didn’t happen. 

Designed by Dr. Thomas Kirkbridge who was a leader in the Moral Treatment Philosophy, the Athens Lunatic Asylum opened in 1874 in what was then countryside overlooking Athens. Kirkbridge believed that mental institutions should be located in pretty rural settings with plenty of acreage for exercise and labor thorough farming, gardening and occupations that might aid in a patient’s treatment while helping run the facilities. 

I believe the terminology they used was “Healing Landscapes.”

Once upon a time, the grounds felt parklike with a waterfall, four poinds, and a variety of trees, plants and flowers that might be enjoyed along walking paths. It was so beautiful that many residents from town and country surrounding the asylum would come visit for walks and picnics. 

Then there are the cemeteries. Three of them are the final resting places for over 1,900 patients who died here. Lucky patients had famillies who claimed their bodies but so many had no one to take them. The hillside cemeteries are probably the saddest I’ve ever seen because most individuals were buried with simple slabs and no name to identify them. They are identified by numbers only. This went on until the 1940s when they began using names. At some point, the state ceased caring for these cemeteries and they were left to vandals and to damage done by time and nature. 

Forgotten. 

People who in life were sent to a place to be forgotten remained forgotten in death as well.

About 25 years ago, the Athens Chapter of the National Alliance on Mental Illness began reclamation of the cemeteries and found other organizations and people to rally around the cemeteries and the grounds. They have brought attention to a place once forgotten and peace and respect to people who perhaps received neither in life.

Adam and I explored here some on Saturday. We’ll go back another day when my leg is better and we have more time. As a person just out for walkabout, the history is fascinating. The place is extraordinary and it’s so peaceful up there above the city. But the cemetery is sobering and the thought of what went on here, all that the patients lost in being sent here, all that was forcibly taken from them, all the ways they suffered, well it’s almost too much to think about. 

As mental health treatment evolved over time, so did the use of this space. By the time I was a child in the eighties, people joked about sending someone to the mental hospital at Athens. Later, as mental health treatment changed and transitioned from large facilities, we saw many individuals around the city who it seemed had been turned out and left to figure out life and health on their own. That may be an unfair assessment but that’s certainly how it appeared. 

There are a number of these Kirkrbride institutions left around the country and many have historic register status. I highly recommend visiting the one in West Virginia because they tell the stories of patients and of staff that worked there. Click here for details.

The Color And Light Of Randyland

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Last year I finally made it to Pittsburgh’s famed Randyland but avoided writing about it because I honestly didn’t know what to say.

The truth is I loved Randyland but didn’t completely understand it even when I was standing there. All these months later and I can’t say my understanding is any clearer. 

It’s color and light, trash to treasure, and a sense that all are welcome. It’s the eclectic and commonplace colliding to create memorable outdoor art. 

It’s free to walk through but there’s a price to pay – the cost is that you’ll see and read things that are hard to forget and may cause you to think.

I feel like I’m not explaining this very well. 

Some call it an outdoor art museum. Some say it’s one of the most important art exhibits in the country. Personally, I think the place defies description. 

Essentially, Randyland is an outdoor space on Pittsburgh’s northside that’s filled with murals and repurposed stuff made into art with lots of words and quotes from Randy himself. 

Who is Randy?

We met him briefly and he is lovely. His name is Randy Gilson and he seems to have created this place to foster a community where he belongs. On a sign he wrote

Hello, I’m Randy Gilson. Have you ever been bullied? I’m different. I’m retarded. I’m a broken tape measure. My life understands ME. I will never be like you. I’m happy. Please be happy. Everyone is unique, a gift.

From what I gather, Randy has been homeless in the past. He has been a community advocate and has worked to bring people together through art, gardening and being kind to others. He reminds us all that we are ok. No matter what others tell us, we are ok, just as we are.

No matter where you stand in this museum, there is something fascinating to see. And no matter how long you look, it’s impossible to take it all in.

I know plenty of people who would just call it a pile of junk but that would be a mistake. There is beauty to be found in the wall of empty but still vibrant paint cans. There’s intrigue to be found in the way old crystal chandeliers sparkle in the sunshine. There’s wisdom to be found in the words and in the way random objects are united in unexpected ways. 

Not everything is meant to be defined or even described. Randy calls himself a broken ruler and says he will never fit in, will never be like everyone else. 

I actually find that admission and that acceptance a breath of fresh air given how many of us work to fit in where we find no acceptance where will never belong. 

If you’re ever in Pittsburgh, the address is 1501 Arch Street. Go see it for yourself. Meanwhile, check out Make The Journey Fun on Facebook. I’ll post more pictures there because there were too many to share here.

Notes From The Field: Overstimulation Is Real

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This week has been overwhelming. By the time I made it home from work last night, all I wanted to do was sit on the couch in the quiet and eat ice cream. That more or less is what I did.

I eventually made a sandwich and then turned on Little House on the Prairie.

It wasn’t a banner evening.

There are many reasons that this week suddenly pushed me right to the edge of the cliff. I’m mentally and physically tired because it’s March and March is one of my harder months.

My extended family suffered a terrible tragedy this week. That’s a sad story for a different day.  I had a small health scare that thankfully turned out fine but I still don’t have an answer regarding the issue. 

Work. I won’t ever complain about work but boy, has it been hopping lately. So has my volunteer life.

And there are times that I long for the days before texting, social media and the 24/7 barrage of news, information and demands for your time. The overstimulation is a real problem. 

I spent a lot of time this week bending to the will of people who don’t deserve my time and energy at all. I have a volunteer commitment this morning and am rooting for rain so I don’t feel obligated to do more than come back home for a quiet day here. 

If it’s nice I’ll feel obligated to go hike. 

My no spend challenge continues. This week I treated myself to a milkshake after having that medical procedure. I picked up a few things at the local grocer last night. The money savings will help with medical expenses. Not to mention, my 401k is taking daily hits so I’ll need to save my dollars and dimes for retirement if I ever hope to get there. Everyone has been so angry about the cost of chicken eggs but I’m terrified for my nest egg.

I’m dying for an early morning start to a good road trip somewhere new. I would like to roll into a smallish town, park the car and just look around. Doesn’t that sound exciting?

It hasn’t been all bad. After all, I have a good job, people who need me, things to keep me productive and plenty to keep me busy. Lots of stuff is happening in the truth is stranger than fiction column so that makes life more interesting.

How are you holding up this week? Are you a ball of nerves? Planning a trip? Just hanging in there? Living your best life? Tell me all about it!

No Matter What

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No matter what’s happening in this world, know this: you most likely cannot change most of it.

What you can do, though, is change how you react, how you internalize, and how you pitch in to make the world better in whatever small way you can.

Even if your contribution is only to not make matters worse or only to make your slice of this earth better for you and those around you, that’s something.

No matter what’s going on in this world, make your bed, go for a walk, bake some cookies, and wash your dishes.

No matter what’s going on in this world, feather your nest and do what you can as well as you can. Just keep going. Keep breathing. 

No matter what’s going on in this world, as long as you keep trying and as long as you don’t harm yourself trying to shoulder the burden, it will be fine.

Your life is your journey. Make it count.

Even If You Can’t Have A Good Day . . .

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Someone made a Walgreens employee cry last night. I learned this after the employee thanked me for being nice. And then her lip started to tremble as she began to tell the story of why she was so emotional about my being nice.

The world is a rough place on a good day. There’s no need to go around making it harder for others.

And honestly, lots of people have been doing their best to ruin my day by forcing their politics on me and by being cruel and judgmental toward others not like them. There’s no need for that either. Having an opinion doesn’t entitle you to beat others over the head with it. It doesn’t entitle you to be cruel to a store employee who has done nothing to you other than dare to breathe the same air as you.

Service employees deserve your respect and they don’t deserve to be made to cry on the job. This particular employee is young and probably needs to toughen up. All the more reason for grown adult customers to show a little compassion and empathy as they try to remember their own first job and what it’s like to be just starting out in the world.

Half of what’s wrong with this country is the overall lack of empathy. An awful lot of our political leaders and wannabe leaders have no empathy, no character and no decency about them.

Don’t be like them.

Show some character. Be kind to others. When the world feels dark, be the light you need and help others around you.

Even if you can’t have a good day, don’t go ruining someone else’s.

Please be clear that I believe most of my readers here to be good and decent folk. I’ve heard from so many of you over the years and I’m confident that you should not be on the receiving end of my rant. But this is actually a condensed version of what’s been on my mind and what I feel needs to be said. At this point, I could almost write a book on all the darkness I have witnessed lately.

Every person reading this has likely been on the receiving end of someone else’s judgement and meanness. I hope rather than feel chastised, you can commiserate!

Friends, be happy, be well and look after your mental health. You deserve it.

Ruminations And Seasons

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Ruminating on things that don’t really matter is one of my specialties. Why do they continue making Indiana Jones movies when the first was clearly unbeatable? Why are the jokes on Laffy Taffy packages so lame? And whatever happened to Mikey, the Life Cereal kid who would eat anything?

Last night I stood on Davis Island at Lake Alma State Park examining the slow progressing fall foliage. To study the foliage from the island is a pretty unremarkable experience right now. You can sense fall is near with the aroma of leaves and the feel of a slight crispness in the air. You just can’t see it in the colors of the tree canopy overhead. 

Go to the other shore and look back and it’s a much different experience. From this perspective you can see spots of color starting to show. 

This a great metaphor for life. After all, when you’re too close to a subject it’s easy to lose perspective. It’s easy to not notice your progress or the slight changes happening right beneath your nose or over your head. It’s also easy to lose context, to lose faith, hope and the sense of self you need to continue through tough times. 

I have a friend who is going through some incredibly difficult times. Her life’s season has changed and not in a good way. Life has become overwhelming, confusing and discouraging. I reminded her this week that she has been through difficult times in the past and that she’s smarter, tougher and more resilient than she can remember right now. 

It’s the season of life she’s in. It won’t last forever but it will go on far too long. She will adapt and overcome these challenges and will someday wake up to find herself in an easier season. For now, she’s doing better than she thinks and I’m certain that she will be ok. 

Seasons change. I hope my friend will remember this and will give herself the grace she needs to be where she is right now.