Tag Archives: rituals

Funeral Processions

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It’s a time honored tradition here in America that motorists pull off the side of the road when meeting a funeral procession.

This happened to me recently. I came around a curve to find myself a few car lengths away from an oncoming hearse followed by a string of cars. The car in front of me braked quickly as did I. The car behind me pulled off the road too.

The superstition of my Appalachian roots prevented me from counting the cars. It’s considered bad luck.

But it was a noticeably short funeral and it got me to thinking about this ritual of honoring our dead. 

People don’t seem to go to funerals much anymore and those who do will frequently skip the procession to the cemetery. It’s increasingly common to just visit with friends at the calling hours and completely bypass  the formality of the funeral. 

It used to be a sort of badge of honor to say that a funeral was large. I have been part of funeral processions that were dozens of cars long and loved ones will speak proudly of how many people came to pay their respects to their person. 

When my aunt died a few years ago and I was asked to stand up at her funeral and read a story I had written about her life, I was worried that it would take too long. Perhaps it did take too long and that roomful of mourners probably did wish I would hurry things along. 

However, when a soul leaves this world, it’s kind of tacky to complain about the time you are expected to mourn at their funeral. It’s like saying they already got their 75 years of life and they don’t deserve another hour of your time.

As our society trends towards a more casual environment that is less tied to social etiquette and more to the interests of the individual, I suspect funerals will continue to shrink and mourners will continue to sneak in and out quickly , unceremoniously and with little regard to celebrating a life departed. 

So, when you see a funeral procession, be sure to pull over and at least consider that a person has left this world and those who will miss them. It will take just a minute but will go a long way toward helping you connect to your own humanity.

Annual Rituals

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The first quarter of each year is defined by three rituals for me.

The first is that I become preoccupied with work at this time. There’s a big project on top of my regular work and I tend to think about the job a lot. The other eight or nine months of the year I focus on separation of work and home but this becomes less and less a priority as the weeks drag on through the winter months. It’s the nature of the beast and I have no regrets or complaints. It’s just the rhythm of my year.

Then there’s the No Spend Challenge that I do each January. This year it stretched into February as well. It’s designed to keep me happy at home, staying healthy and using the things I have. What did our Greatest Generation grandparents teach us?

Use it up, make do or do without.

The money I save in the winter helps pay for adventures the rest of the year. It also promotes rest and a sense of quiet.

The third ritual is that I take a long weekend trip as soon as my project goes to the printer and as soon as I can dig myself out from under the non essential work that piled up.

This weekend was that weekend and it was exactly what I needed. I didn’t go far and my destination wasn’t exotic. Heck, it wasn’t even as warm as home. But it was quintessentially American and it was a solid start to adventure season. It was good for my mental health.

I haven’t felt like myself in some time. In addition to making you tired, causing you to gain weight, messing with your voice and cholesterol and causing the worst brain fog, the thyroid toys with your mind and emotions too. I saw glimmers of the old Brandi here and there this weekend. She pops up sometimes when I’m out adventuring and it’s a relief to know there’s hope she’ll come back to stay someday.

I’m home now and am starting an eating plan meant to help my thyroid. After all, my body is attacking this little gland. The least I can do is stop calling it names for being so useless and start trying to help it through better nutrition. Ha! It’s no wonder it feels like it’s not even trying. I’m mean to it! Expect to hear more about this another day.

There are lots of stories to tell from this trip through eastern Indiana, checking off my list a few things I have wanted to see for a while.

In case you’re thinking that Indiana doesn’t sound very exciting (I know you are because nearly everyone I know looked at me funny when I told them my plans) know that you are wrong by my standards. It doesn’t sound exciting but this area is defined by lovely countryside, small towns, friendly people, interesting history and lots of the things I enjoy. There are so many old churches, Carnegie libraries and vintage signs, it was a feast for my eyes and wandering imagination.

Friends, I read a quote from Bob Ross this weekend that supports part of my worldview. You know the PBS painter with big hair and a gentle voice who inspired a nation to paint? He said “Beauty is everywhere. You only have to look to see it.”

Right on, Bob. Right on.

Come back and I’ll tell you about some places I went and my observations on the world. It’s true. Beauty is everywhere. There’s something interesting to be found everywhere. You only have it look to see it.