Tag Archives: choices

Putting the NO in NOvember

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November is a great time to start saying no to things that aren’t important or that don’t fit in with your life plan. It is NOvember, after all.

It doesn’t have to be drastic but small changes can be beneficial. This week has been challenging because I was overbooked and torn in a few directions every single day. With plans of some kind every night this week, there wasn’t much downtime or even time to keep up with daily chores.

Thankfully, every week isn’t like this in my world. The busyness did make it easier to say no to doomscrolling or to following a routine just because I usually do it.

Lately, I find my attention span suffering because there are lots of things and people at the ready to take my brain by the hand and lead it away to what they want me to do. How DOES one concentrate in that environment?

Today, I’m saying no to almost everything. I slept in. There are a few chores to be done. At some point I’ll take a shower and put on clean pajamas because, after all, I’m not saying no to personal hygiene!

Eventually, I will prop up my sprained ankle and read or watch a movie. I bought a new puzzle aimed at keeping me still. Perhaps that’s in my future as well.

I’m starting to transition into a quieter season of life as I lean into the colder, shorter days of winter. We’ll call this day one of appreciating how the cooler season can contribute to mental health and overall wellness.

Enough about me.

While my story may sound relatable, your story is probably completely different. What should YOU be saying NO to this NOvember?

We are nearing the end of the month but it’s never too late to start! Is it an expensive vice like vaping or energy drinks? Should you be saying no to the PTO president who has learned to guilt you into submission because the other parents scatter into the wind when there’s work to be done?

Maybe there are tasks you do because you’ve “always done it that way.” Now that’s a terrible phrase. And just how much time are you spending binging tv or scrolling on your phone when you could be playing with your kids, traveling or doing all the things you say you want to do?

What is it that’s distracting you, eating up your money and robbing you of precious time? Life is so short. Bad habits, energy thieves and people who steal time will make it seem shorter.

Time is a trickster. We all get the same 24 hours in a day but, when you’re little, the days feel so long and like they’ll never end. Christmas will never come when you’re a kid and it’s only June. As you age, time speeds up until life feels almost like a runaway train. Blink and you’ll miss it.

Time will continue to march on with or without permission. Saying NO to what we can allows us to say YES to what matters most. In my case today, that will be my mental and physical health. My yes may be different every day and yours may as well.

It’s Saturday, friends. It’s as good a day as any to start saying no!

January No Spend Challenge Is Complete

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My No Spend Challenge – January edition comes to a close today. In all, it has been pretty easy even though I have spent more than planned and shopped more than anticipated. You can read my last update here.

Meanwhile, here are some things to note:

  • Eating out was heavily curbed this month. I did end up eating out more than I liked because it was either that or go hungry for hours. In one instance, the power went out while I was working from home. There was nothing to pack for lunch when I had to dash into the office to work that day. Unless I wanted to take a can of green beans or something random – I guess that would have worked! That said, food on the go amounted to under $50 for the month. 
  • Supporting small businesses that I like is an act of service in my mind. That’s why I ended up buying two books at Wheatberry in Chillicothe and spent about $17 at Peddlar’s Junction, a vendor mall in Athens. That was for an adorable hand carved wooden owl, a great old hammer for my fella, and a set of vintage salt and pepper shakers representing the Washington Monument and US Capitol Building. I had admired them before and they were on clearance for $1. Like I could turn down such a deal when I really wanted them. 
  • Car vs. Deer in early January caused almost $8,000 worth of damage to the Nerdmobile. I was perfectly happy to shell out my $100 deductible to liberate my car from the garage and get me back on the road in my own wheels. 
  • Groceries. Man, can we talk about this for a minute? I needed a lot of stuff at the grocery store last week and wanted a few more things that I simply refused to buy because sticker shock wouldn’t allow it. Six dollars for some sad, wrinkly strawberries is not a deal. I’m looking at you Kroger. Produce in general has been overpriced, even by winter standards, and it’s not in good condition when it hits the shelves because it IS winter and it is shipped so far to get here. When I started doing this no spend month challenge back in 2018, I could get by with under $20 for groceries every couple of weeks. That always included some produce, eggs, and whatever random thing I needed to cook with the random things I already owned. Now, it’s more like $100 and that doesn’t include a lot of extra fun stuff. Tell me, how do people afford to buy potato chips and frozen junk foods? Yikes! Anyway, no spend month or not, I don’t compromise my health and bought plenty of nutritious foods to fill in the gaps with what I have in the freezer and pantry. 
  • A Valentine’s gift for my fella. It’s our first Valentine’s Day together and I hope he likes what I picked out. 
  • My Book of the Month membership charged me for a credit to get a book this month but I didn’t redeem it. So I did pay but didn’t shop for a book. That credit will be waiting for me when I’m ready to shop with it. 

That’s about it. 

In past years, January was much more austere and I followed the rules much more closely. I would never have stepped foot in Wheatberry or bought the carved wooden owl. I would have perhaps planned better by keeping an apple and a granola bar in my bag so I wouldn’t have to stop for fast food. I bought one bottle of water while out this month. That wouldn’t have passed muster even three years ago. In all fairness, it was the day I hit the deer and my reusable bottle was left in the car. I needed hydration so this was more of a health issue than anything else. 

I have also been out to eat and to the movies a couple of times on my fella’s dime. I typically drive because I enjoy it and he always wants to pay for whatever we do. This has been a hard thing for me to accept but it seems to bring him joy. Five years ago, I would have said no to these gifts as it goes against the grain of what I am trying to accomplish but these outings have felt like special occasions and they haven’t tempted me to go out and do more stuff. In other words, I’m swallowing my independence and enjoying the fun with someone I never expected to find in this lifetime. 

All told, I’m pleased with the month and I’m pleased to carry on in February with some planned exceptions. 

I will continue to focus on being home, feathering my nest, decluttering and doing things I enjoy. Life is so good when you like your home and have time to stay there and enjoy the quiet, restful period we call winter.

A Case For Slow Living

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It may come as a surprise to learn that I’m a proponent of slow living.

This movement encourages people to choose a more balanced, meaningful life by literally slowing down. It’s about slowing down to appreciate your day, your surroundings and whatever it is you value. I think of it as a form of self care, personal development and time management all rolled into one.

I’m on the go a lot but it’s not the same kind of busily moving about as many people embrace. On Saturday I drove to Marietta for a walk along the river, a stroll through a historic cemetery, and to sit quietly next to someone and enjoy the beauty of an old basilica.

It was a splendid day of small discoveries.

We eventually ended up surrounded by adolescents in a mall bookstore and at a TJ Maxx with pushy women pushing carts full of stuff in an endless search for more.

I typically enjoy a little shopping but it stressed us both out.

Luckily, we still had the sunset to enjoy on the way home, mixing in companionable silence with reminiscing about the day.

That’s how I live slow and still go out and discover.

For me, slow living means time in nature. Books in bed. Sleeping in. Listening to LPs on the record player. Simmering soup and a cat nearby. Bubble baths on Sunday night and warm cookies just because. Clean sheets, moonlit nights, a neatly organized closet, a bird outside the window….. the list is seemingly endless when it comes to the things that bring joy in this slow life of mine.

I am surrounded by people who are constantly on the go. Kids’ birthday parties, soccer, dance, volunteerism, social functions and generally constant running around of some kind. If that’s the life you live and enjoy then I am happy that you are happy.

If you don’t enjoy it, there’s no time like the present to stage the great escape.

If that’s not your life and you worry you should be doing more, I want you to remember that this is your life to build and do with as you please. If you are happy sitting by a fire on a Friday night, don’t feel guilty for not joining your friends at the big game.

You can’t be everywhere at once and it’s needless to try. Instead, maybe focus on the things you enjoy. Maybe it’s woodworking or a long bike ride. It could be cooking a meal for your family to enjoy and watching Christmas movies on the couch. It may be cleaning your home and making it look pretty even if you are the only person who will ever see your cozy space.

Never let anyone make you feel like these things aren’t enough or that you should be doing more.

I recently flipped through a book about suggested tools for slow living. It mentioned things like a picnic basket, favorite blankets and a couch to enjoy them on. It listed all manner of things like a tea kettle, board games and candles.

My list for daily slow living would include my hiking shoes, paper maps, books, good music and a porch for enjoying the seasons. It would include feeling rested after a good night’s sleep too.

Some people think they lead a boring life. Maybe you do. Maybe you should just reframe your thinking to appreciate that you have time to stop and smell the roses if you’re a gardener or to spend time with your grandkids and feel rested each day.

Do as you please.

Fast life, slow life, adventurous one or somewhere in between – just remember you get this one life and you must live it in a way that makes your soul feel happy.

It’s a constant struggle. Even after years of practice, I still feel myself getting pulled in directions where others believe I should be. If you are a person in my life and I say yes to you, feel special. It doesn’t happen often.

What are your tools for slow living? How do you fight off all the demands other people make on your time? How do you have the life you actually want?

In Case You Need A Reminder

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I found this a while back and saved it to my phone, knowing that one day soon I would need the reminder.

Happiness is not a destination but a way of life, a way of carrying ourselves even through the bad days. I needed the reminder yesterday and thought it might help you too.

Life is a series of choices. Choose happy as much as you can.