Tag Archives: fear of heights

Anticipation Is Half The Battle

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Anticipation is often the hardest part of things that are scary or hard. I have been thinking about this a lot lately as I reminisce about summer adventures past.

Flying alone for the first time comes to mind. I hadn’t flown at all in years when I found myself planning to meet my Wyoming friend Johnna in Salt Lake City in 2018. I didn’t worry about it but the idea made me uncomfortable right up until the moment I was settled into my United Flight window seat. That’s when I discovered that flying alone was the most liberating experience of my life. 

Another thing that comes to mind is my visit to Mesa Verde National National Park in southwest Colorado. This UNESCO World Heritage Site is known for beautifully preserved Ancestral Puebloan cliff dwellings. Honestly, I had never heard of it until Johnna suggested it as part of our four corners region adventure. 

She and her hubby had driven through one day, stopping at an overlook to watch a ranger led tour explore one of the cliff dwellings. She talked about the beauty of the place and the exciting prospects of exploring ancient dwellings that not everyone can touch. Access is permitted only through ranger hikes. 

We agreed this would be the centerpiece of our trip until we discovered one small detail: to access the cliff dwellings, you have to climb ladders.

“Wait… what?” I asked.

Ladders? I don’t do ladders. I don’t do heights. I don’t do things that might result in my passing out or tripping and falling to my death. I am not the most graceful of our population so it seems a likely outcome that I will trip and hurl myself off the side of a cliff.

There are tours to three dwellings. The Square Tower House descends 120 feet and has steep drop-offs. You have to climb two 16 foot ladders and be able to scramble over large boulders, unassisted while carrying a minimum half gallon of water. All this for the bargain low price of $25 per person.

Just reading that description gave me heart palpitations so I crossed that off the list. 

Balcony House is just $8 per person but requires climbing a 32-foot ladder, crawling through an 18 inch by 27 inch tall tunnel for twelve feet and climbing a 66 foot open cliff face with uneven stone steps. All that before climbing two 18 foot ladders to exit.

Nope. What else they got? 

The final tour goes to Cliff Palace. It  descends uneven stone steps and requires climbing four 8-10 foot ladders. This one is also $8. 

Honestly, I would have paid the total sum of all three tour tickets to not have to do any this. But my dear friend Johnna knew exactly what to say to get me to agree to this. It was something to the effect of “do you want to be one of those people on the overlook watching others live life or do you want to be one of those people down there having fun? It just depends on the kind of life you want.”

Sigh. 

So I spent the next couple of months experiencing self inflicted vertigo every time I thought about what was to come. I hardly slept the night before and had a knot in my stomach right up until we began descending those stone steps. 

You know something? I hustled right up the first ladder with no trouble and just kept going. Honestly, the ladders weren’t bad even though the first one looks like something Fred Flinstone might have built. But it was eight feet and on the ground, angled enough that it didn’t feel like too severe of a climb.

The way out required some uneven stone steps and a ten foot ladder that went straight up. However, it wasn’t at all scary because it was in a crevice between stone so it felt sheltered.

I drag you along on that adventure to tell you this: the fear of what is to come is nearly always worse than the thing you have to do. That’s true for sad anniversaries and for hard work you procrastinate because you simply don’t want to do it. It’s true for those irrational fears we all have as well.

Your mind will always make things worse than they seem if you allow it.

I’m grateful that I did it and (don’t tell Johnna) I’m grateful she pushed me to go. She’s a good influence because she knows I’m capable of more than I think and doesn’t hesitate to force me to at least try. 

Want to read another account of Mesa Verde? The Wandering Canadians recently wrote a nice account that sent these particular memories bubbling to the top. Click here to read all about their visit!

Fighting The Good Fight And Sometimes Losing

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Heights scare me. To be exact, things that are attached to the ground and high scare me. Airplanes are fine. Ladders and balconies feel like death traps.

I hate this about myself. 

Luckily, I believe that the presence of fear is an opportunity to be brave. So I often force myself to do things that push my own boundaries. For example, if I’m near a lighthouse, I have to climb to the top even if my body fears I won’t live to tell the story. 

When faced with high places, I tend to talk myself through it, proactively giving myself a pep talk before I even arrive at that place. Then I stay focused on a point straight ahead or on a person in front of me, never looking down and attempting to pretend that everything is ok.

The other night, a hike after work found me on a familiar trail that ends with natural sandstone steps out of a gorge and onto floating wooden steps. Those floating steps are followed by concrete ones through a tunnel. I don’t know the elevation gain here but it’s a great workout. 

By the time we made it up all those sandstone steps, I was already winded. That’s normal.

Unfortunately, I had failed to give myself that pep talk. Why? I don’t know. I don’t remember.   Before I had even reached the first step of the floating stairs that freak me out so badly, I was already struggling to manage the fear. 

Those steps are wooden and have open backs. You’re up high. Some of the wood feels soft and there’s one step with a chunk missing. These steps take a lot of abuse from massive amounts of people going through every day and I personally feel they aren’t safe enough. 

Three steps up and I was starting to panic. In no time I was completely panicked and no longer  just a little winded. 

I could not breathe. I couldn’t catch my breath. I did not feel safe at all. 

I did calm myself down and made it up those tunnel stairs without incident and without sounding like I was dying. I’m calling that a win even though those steps are easy. At least there’s a light at the end of this tunnel!

I don’t appear to have a picture of the scary steps – likely because I try not to dwell on where I have been or what I’m about to do!

There’s a lesson to be had here. 

These steps are my arch nemesis but I can conquer them when mentally prepared. It takes just some positive self talk and deep breathing to keep myself calm. Just the tiniest bit of negativity or even a failure to focus can make all the difference.

While this is true of this specific situation, it’s true for all of life. If you think you can, you will. If you think you can’t, you don’t stand a chance. Things will come apart so fast with just a single negative thought to guide you. 

Focus your thoughts inward and tell yourself what you need to hear to get the job done, to conquer a bad situation, work through a fear, and achieve your goals. It can work. I promise. It has taken me a lot of years to understand how but I can do it when properly centered. Figuring out how to recover from something like this is an important skill as well and it gets easier with practice. 

What’s your fear? Do you have techniques for minimizing the control it has over your life? Can you recognize when you’ve reached your tipping point? Can you find your way back when things get bad?

You know why I sometimes force myself to do scary things in controlled environments? It has something to do with the old saying that practice makes perfect. The more I do it, the easier it gets – especially if it’s my choice to be in that scary situation in the first place. 

I know what it’s like to be crippled with fear. It’s the worst feeling in the world and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I also know that some fears for some folks aren’t to be overcome and for that I’m sorry if my story today sounds like toxic positivity. 

Here’s wishing us all strength and perseverance. Today is a new day. Let’s all just do our best, shall we?

Facing A Fear At National Harbor

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I’m afraid of heights. No. Scratch that. I’m terrified of heights. I’m good in planes but anything attached to the ground is a bad idea. Tall buildings, step ladders, Ferris wheels and anything more than about two feet tall is a bad idea. Just to be clear, it’s ALL a bad idea.

I do occasionally force myself to face this fear. I make myself climb lighthouses when I travel and there’s a particularly terrifying staircase where I sometimes hike. It feels good to face a fear occasionally and this one is both terrifying and inconvenient.

As we were headed toward Mount Vernon, Nichola gestured toward a Ferris wheel in the distance and said that she really wanted to ride it someday. She has a bucket list of Ferris wheels. She sounded kind of wistful and, in a fit of temporary insanity. I suggested that there’s no time like the present.

So we toured Mount Vernon, hiked and ended our day at National Harbor where we had dinner, shopped a bookstore (you know I would find a bookstore) and wandered around.

The Capitol Wheel at National Harbor is 180 feet tall with 42 climate controlled gondolas. It soars over the Potomac River and has breathtaking views.

Well, breathtaking views if you can get past the terror. Hahahaha… ahem.

My friend loved it and I was thrilled for her to check this off her list. I was fine as long as we were moving but really despised sitting still. It’s great learning new things about yourself. I had no idea that the movement would be acceptable as opposed to the stillness.

I was thrilled when it ended but also glad I went. My only other Ferris wheel experience was at Niagara Falls – equally terrifying but also a spectacular view.

Anyway, if this is your thing, because you enjoy it or because you’re trying to overcome a fear, it’s just $15 for a ride with a fabulous view. Get info here. There’s a ton to do in this area including shopping, food and some cool public art to see. There’s a Gaylord Hotel and the place has the buzz and excitement of the circus coming to town. It’s perfect for people watching too!

Lighthouse Complex

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Anytime I’m near a lighthouse, I have this unexplainable urge to prove I can climb the darn thing. This is especially odd given that I am terrified of heights.

Old lighthouses always have scary iron staircases with steps that have open backs large enough to lose a small child through. There is always something that looks like this that you have to climb through to get outside.

Plus it’s always windy up there and one of the most terrifying experiences imaginable for someone afraid of heights.

I absolutely despise the experience but tend to force myself to do it anyway. Why? I’ve been trying to answer this question for years. I suppose just to prove I can.

I’ve only been up in a handful and have to admit that I’m always a little relieved when they aren’t open to the public!

This is Marblehead, a relatively small lighthouse on the Lake Erie shore. It’s part of a state park with a museum and grounds. It’s just 77 terrifying steps to the top for a bargain price of $3 per person.

Click here to visit their website and plan your trip.

Flying Like A Bird

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It isn’t every day that you have a chance to check something off your bucket list. So when the opportunity presents itself, you have to do it. Even if it’s something that scares you a little. Actually, especially if it’s something that scares you.

b3It has long been my goal to take a ride in a biplane. There’s just something  romantic about these open air planes and the barnstorming that has been done with them since the years following World War I.

I can’t describe it but my heart takes flight a little every time I see one in the air. 

There was an opportunity to take a ride a couple of weeks ago at a hot air balloon festival but I found every excuse in the book to not do it. So when I learned there would be rides given at an airport in a neighboring community, I simply had to go.

Incidentally, the James A. Rhodes Airport in Jackson County was celebrating their 50th anniversary yesterday with a big shindig – cool aircraft on display, some RC flyers, a Model A Club and rides with Dewey Davenport of Goodfolk and O’Tymes Biplane Rides of the Xenia area. 

This was a really fun blue sky day of celebration but it was a big day for me too. You see, part of the reason that excuses were made to not take a biplane ride is that I have a ridiculous fear of heights. I don’t do roller coasters and cringe at the thought of a glass elevator. But I’ve been up in aircraft before – commercial flights, small planes at my local airport and even a helicopter (sans door as I was taking pictures for a newspaper that day) and it’s ok.

But to glide through the air with the wind in your face and nothing between you and the sky? In a 1930 D-25 New Standard that looks like it belongs in a museum?

Never before.

And guys. Wow. It’s fabulous. 

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It probably helps that I had an experienced pilot who is so enthusiastic about his work that I had no choice but to trust him. He’s fantastic. Really. Dewey Davenport is his name and if you see that he’s coming to an event near you, go take a ride. You won’t regret it.  That’s him pictured with me above. And if you’re wondering what’s up with the sign, click here to read about the origins.   Long story short – I have a smart mouth and warped sense of humor.

But this story isn’t really about the plane ride, funny sign or pilot. Sure, the experience was amazing. But it’s really about you and whatever is holding you back.

There has to be something that you’ve always wanted to do, maybe even something that scares you. Please don’t let fear prevent you from doing something that you want to do.

Friends, life is worth living. Go do it. Have an adventure. Go far away. Stay close to home. Do what scares you. Embrace the thing you love most. Whatever it is, do something that will make you smile at the end of this day and every day.

Life IS worth living. Make it what you want. 

This is an area I’m still working on. Truth is, I don’t know what I want my life to look like so I’m just exploring the world as much as possible and doing the things that make me happy as well as the ones that scare me because they often are the same. We’ve discussed this topic here a couple of times before but we all could use a periodic refresher.

I imagine myself to be a kindred spirit of Amelia Earhart, Sheriff Maude Collins and other strong women from history. However, I’m probably a little more closely related to Snoopy versus the Red Barron and maybe Deputy Barney Fyffe! Regardless, I faced a fear and had such a fabulous time doing it that I’m already plotting to take another ride with Dewey someday.

And if you wonder what makes me an authority on this topic, just scroll up and look at that smile. It really was the best day. But this story is going to be a two parter! I checked something else off my bucket list but you’ll have to wait till Monday to read about it!

Want to know more about Dewey and biplanes? Check out his website and his YouTube vlog by searching his name.