My favorite Christmas songs all have a note of bittersweetness about them. Judy Garland almost tearfully sang her rendition of Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas. Bing Crosby is dreaming of a white Christmas like the ones he used to know “where the treetops glisten and children listen to hear sleigh bells in the snow.” He goes on to sing “may your days be merry and bright and may all your Christmases be white.”

Global warming has changed our winters here in southern Ohio from a climate where we would have snow on the ground all winter to one where snow is a rarity even in the depths of winter. A white Christmas is a rare treat. 

And are your holidays merry and bright? 

For some, the holidays are merry and bright. For others, Christmas is a reminder of what they don’t have anymore. The loss of family members is a hard one to move past during Christmas. Financial difficulties and all around life instability make it hard to celebrate. No matter how much you try to count your blessings, it’s possible that you are living in circumstances that are just tough on any given day without facing the expectation you be happy because society says so. 

Here’s to those who have empty seats at the table this year. It’s ok to be sad as you remember the good times and struggle to think of the holidays ahead and how you can make them merry and bright again. You don’t have to. 

Here’s to those who face illness and just don’t have the energy to meet the expectation that you still keep up with traditions of old when you’re barely keeping yourself alive. You don’t have to. 

Here’s to those who have lost income and simply can’t afford to keep up with the Jones’ this year. You don’t have to. 

Here’s to those who have lost family because they don’t approve of your politics, your lifestyle or simply put, your true self. You may be tempted to try to adapt and compromise your standards for the sake of keeping peace. You don’t have to. 

And here’s to those who are suffering in silence for  unspoken reasons or for something you can’t begin to understand or explain even when people ask. You don’t have to. 

There is something we can all do. Regardless of your circumstances or difficulties or maybe everything is ok and you have no good reason to struggle this holiday season, remember this: give yourself a little grace. 

It is a season of giving and we do tend to feel better when we are kind to others. Sometimes, though, we need to be kind to ourselves too. Take a nap, drink lots of water, go for a walk, breathe fresh air, take a long shower, eat a cookie, have a good cry, say no to the people who are stressing you out. Choose one or five of these things and do for yourself. Just be kind to yourself. One deep breath and one step in front of the other will work wonders toward healing your own wellbeing. 

I tell you to make the journey fun. That’s the title of this blog and it’s a sort of life mission. Even on a normal day, I like to look for ways big and small to brighten my day. It’s a good way to live, really, and I’m glad I can do that. But it’s not possible every day. In fact, some days are just hard. In a world where people on the internet are so determined to make their lives look perfect, I’ll be the first to tell you mine isn’t perfect and that trying to keep up  with the perfection or the merry and bright myth can be a recipe for disaster. 

You don’t have to be happy. You don’t have to be merry and bright, no matter what the songs say. But you do have to keep going because you deserve to be here.

One step, one breath. One step, one breath. One step, one breath.

You’ve got this.