Monthly Archives: November 2023

Some Goals Are Meant To Be Forgotten

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A few years ago, the Goodreads app suggested setting a reading goal for the year. I had no idea how many books I could reasonably read in twelve months but set the goal high at 100.

That happened to be 2020 when there was plenty of time to settle in with one good book after another for months at a time. I met and exceeded that goal and was quite proud.

I have left this goal the same ever since, getting close but falling short every year. This year, though, that goal is going down in a blaze of glory. With some focus, 55 books will be the final tally.

And you know something? I’m ok with that.

I have read some great books and some mediocre ones since January. I have started and tossed aside some that simply weren’t for me. There were weeks when I barely touched a book because that degree of focus simply wasn’t possible while other times found me awake late at night and tearing through an enthralling tale.

This year found me on my usual adventures and on the hiking trail a lot more than normal, making it hard to sit and read. In other words, life got in the way, taking me to rewarding places where I didn’t even know I wanted to be.

If there’s one thing I hope you take away from the stories I have told on this blog over the years, it should be this: the best stuff in life is about the journey, not the destination.

Read the books you enjoy. Pass on the ones you don’t like. Take the trip, hike the hike, care for yourself and spend time with those who prove themselves your people.

If all that interferes with an arbitrary goal then so be it. Maybe I’ll do better in 2024

Life Needs An Undo Function

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In the world of computers, there’s a function called “Undo.” It’s literally what it sounds like- you can undo your last change or even the last few changes of a document or file you’re working on.

It’s a fabulous way to fix a mistake or to return to a previous state simply because you changed your mind.

Do you ever wish that life had an undo function? Wouldn’t it be handy to just take back that stupid thing you said or to clean up the egg you dropped on the floor?

I make plenty of mistakes and often say dumb things so it would get a workout in this house.

Yesterday I was staring at my newly-decorated-for-Christmas fireplace mantle and I was sure it could be better. I had combined two simple pine garlands, adding some ornaments, ribbon and pine cones before weaving in some twinkle lights as an afterthought.

Wrong order but it still looked nice enough. Yet I couldn’t leave well enough alone.

That’s mainly because I had hit a great sale at Joann Fabrics the night before and came home with ribbon that would look better than what I had used. Plus, I have this neat garland of pretty silver bells on a rustic jute rope that needed a home and would look great woven into the pine!

Hot diggity! I had a plan!

So I dropped what I was doing, dismantled the perfectly good thing that was done and set about making it “better.”

Hindsight is 20/20 and it is now clear that the road to hell is paved with good intentions, pretty ribbons and bells on jute.

I placed the pine garland, woven with perfectly spaced twinkle lights before setting my sights on those pretty little bells. I figured out how to attach the rope to one end of the pine, immediately sending that half and it’s share of thoughtfully placed lights to the floor.

Huh. This would be harder than I thought.

So I fixed the lights and pine and took another run at it, this time being careful to place the weight of the bells toward the top and back. This sent the entire thing to the floor, leaving the mantle bare.

I will spare you the full story of how many times this didn’t work. Suffice it to say my mind got stuck on an annoying loop of wishing I could just undo the last ten moves. The bells are currently in a pile on the floor as I’m far too disgusted to look at them.

Meanwhile, I put the pine, lights and adornments back to the best of my ability, looping in the new ribbon to add some nice muted color and texture.

And now, as I step back and admire my handiwork, it is clear that I liked it better the other way.

Seriously, friends. Where is that Undo button when you really need it?

Thanksgiving Thoughts

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Today is Thanksgiving here in America.

It is intended to be a day for gathering with loved ones to express thanks for life and the blessings we enjoy. For some, the day is about gluttony and football too.

Depending on your family dynamics, it could also be about a kind of restraint that some might call passive aggression as your out-of touch relatives rant about the state of the world. If you lack in restraint, it could include lively arguing discussion of politics and the politicians who don’t care one ounce about you while your defending them ruins the holiday meal.

For others it marks the beginning of the holiday shopping season and the hunt for bargains. For some without family, it is a day alone and for some it’s a day of lost pay that is much needed.

Many people spend the holiday remembering loved ones who are no longer with us. Chances are you know someone who is marking their first holiday without a parent, child, spouse or dear friend. Whether it’s the first or the tenth Thanksgiving without their loved one, they’re just muddling through. Show them some grace. That will be you someday.

It’s not a happy day for everyone and yet a glorious time of celebration for many. The ways we celebrate Thanksgiving are as diverse as our nation.

I’m hosting today but my mother will do the cooking. I can be trusted with a veggie tray and dessert and with putting some elbow grease into making everything clean and pretty. I cannot be trusted with anything more important than that and this is fine by me.

Today, I’m thankful that I’m not responsible for cooking the stars of the meal. I’m thankful for the family I was born into and the people I have chosen. I’m thankful for my little cat Scout and for the job that allows me to give him the life he thinks he deserves. I’m thankful for easy access to the natural world, for good books and the people who write them. I’m thankful for the impending shift in seasons and for my own good health. I am thankful for the adventures I’ve had and those to come.

I’m thankful for all I have and for all I’ve lost. Each day, all the good stuff and especially the adversity have helped me become the human I am. For this I am grateful too.

Wherever you are in this world today, it is my fondest hope you have so many blessings that it’s hard to count them all.

Happy Thanksgiving, friends!

Changing Seasons Inside And Out

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The changing seasons and natural world are a favorite topic of mine. There’s nothing more refreshing than the start of a new season and all the unique qualities that come with it. Time in nature teaches you to appreciate the progression of change, even those that many think are unpleasant.

I look forward to the progression of seasons – even the dreaded summer that I dislike so much. Something else I anticipate is the change in my home.

I like to regularly update the look of my home simply by rearranging and recycling things I already own. So the couches and chairs and big things stay the same but embellishments change regularly. This gets ramped up in fall when I drag out the pumpkins and owls, cozy blankets and candles in oranges, browns and shades of dark blues, purples and green. I actually own more fall decor than most normal people have for Christmas.

This year, my tastes have changed slightly and I began incorporating more wood and rattan, lending new textures to my happy surroundings.

The current state of things here is that I’m dying to decorate for Christmas but am holding off until Thanksgiving leftovers have been carried out the door.

What happens Thursday night – well – let’s just say there are no guarantees that I won’t be dragging Christmas decorations out of the closet. I have enough stuff, including full sized trees, to decorate every room. With Scout on the prowl and excited to chew on artificial pine, I have to be mindful and careful of his safety so there won’t be a lot of trees. Instead, there will be more soft things, window garlands, tablescapes and shelf sitters to pull holiday cheer into my entire home.

As I’m excited for the coming winter season, I can hardly wait to cozy up my home and make it festive. I’m also excited to see how my changing tastes manifest into Christmas decor this year.

Trust that whatever happens, it will change and improve as I play with my surroundings throughout the holidays!

When do you decorate for Christmas? Early? Late? When you get around to it? This is a judgment free space so tell me all about it!

Getting Started With Journaling

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Do you keep a journal or some kind of diary?

I have kept a journal off and on since I was a kid using everything from fifty cent composition notebooks to fancy leather bound volumes. Sometimes I write on scraps of paper because there is nothing else available and there are ideas to deposit somewhere.

My brand of journaling is all over the place. Sometimes I write simply to vent and to make peace with a situation. Sometimes it’s to document events or conversations I want to remember later.

Occasionally a problem is best examined through writing. Talking about problems with other people is useless because I find everyone wants to solve it with their brand of wisdom or, worse yet, they fan the flames and make things worse. Writing helps me put all my cards on the table and sift through what really matters until the solution is clear.

Some people use journaling as a creative outlet while others use it to preserve and recall memories. Gratitude journaling is extremely popular right now and I do that sometimes too. In fact, if I’m having a bad day, it’s helpful to take a minute and write about something I’m grateful for at that moment. Gratitude can help put everything into perspective and improve attitude. If you’re not into gratitude and have a lot of angst to unload, rage journaling is kind of fun too!

Finally, if you are experiencing anxiety, grief or some kind of trauma, there is no better therapy than simply dumping all those words and problems onto paper. Even if you just write those thoughts on a scrap of paper and set it on fire, it’s a great release of all that negativity, all that stress, all that stuff you badly need to escape.

Modern researchers often use historic diaries as tools for piecing together historic details and to shed insight into daily life. To be clear, I would be mortified if anyone ever studied or published my journals. In fact, I need to collect all these old books and burn them because I don’t trust my family to do that for me when I die.

My writing is often just glorified scribbles and nothing anyone wants to read. Incidentally, I notice that it’s when I stop journaling that I need to unload some ideas the most. Sometimes the days turn into weeks of skipped writing and it’s usually caused by a desire to look the other way rather than face whatever is bugging me.

If you’re thinking about starting a journaling habit here are a few tips:

– Have a dedicated book. This can be a cheap notebook or an actual journal. TJ Maxx and Marshall’s are a great source for attractive and affordable blank books.

– Type It. Not into old school pen to paper? Type it up! There are websites and apps you could try but a regular old Word document would work perfectly for this. Anyone remember Doogie Howser typing his journal entries back in the day?

– Set a dedicated time to write. It’s easier to make a habit stick if you build it into your daily routine. End of day is a popular time because it’s nice to recap the day and release whatever is on your mind before bed. Personally, I often write at lunch or just before I begin my workday. I tend to keep my journal in my work bag to make this easier.

– Start with a prompt. Sometimes it’s easier to get started with a prompt like what you’re grateful for today, something funny that happened today, what you look forward to this weekend or simply what’s bugging you right now.

– Just write. Don’t stress over it. Penmanship, spelling and grammar are important to me but I’ll be honest. My mediocre penmanship becomes truly terrible when I’m journaling and I’m ok with that. After all, I’m writing for me and no one else is supposed to be reading my innermost thoughts. It doesn’t need to be legible.

Do you have a favorite writing prompt to get the juices flowing? Do you journal or are you thinking about starting? I would love to hear your ideas!

Honestly, I don’t know where I would be today if not for my lifetime habit of journaling. The world would probably be a gentler place if everyone wrote down their achievements, insecurities and troubles in a private place where it’s safe to state the truth.

A Case For Slow Living

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It may come as a surprise to learn that I’m a proponent of slow living.

This movement encourages people to choose a more balanced, meaningful life by literally slowing down. It’s about slowing down to appreciate your day, your surroundings and whatever it is you value. I think of it as a form of self care, personal development and time management all rolled into one.

I’m on the go a lot but it’s not the same kind of busily moving about as many people embrace. On Saturday I drove to Marietta for a walk along the river, a stroll through a historic cemetery, and to sit quietly next to someone and enjoy the beauty of an old basilica.

It was a splendid day of small discoveries.

We eventually ended up surrounded by adolescents in a mall bookstore and at a TJ Maxx with pushy women pushing carts full of stuff in an endless search for more.

I typically enjoy a little shopping but it stressed us both out.

Luckily, we still had the sunset to enjoy on the way home, mixing in companionable silence with reminiscing about the day.

That’s how I live slow and still go out and discover.

For me, slow living means time in nature. Books in bed. Sleeping in. Listening to LPs on the record player. Simmering soup and a cat nearby. Bubble baths on Sunday night and warm cookies just because. Clean sheets, moonlit nights, a neatly organized closet, a bird outside the window….. the list is seemingly endless when it comes to the things that bring joy in this slow life of mine.

I am surrounded by people who are constantly on the go. Kids’ birthday parties, soccer, dance, volunteerism, social functions and generally constant running around of some kind. If that’s the life you live and enjoy then I am happy that you are happy.

If you don’t enjoy it, there’s no time like the present to stage the great escape.

If that’s not your life and you worry you should be doing more, I want you to remember that this is your life to build and do with as you please. If you are happy sitting by a fire on a Friday night, don’t feel guilty for not joining your friends at the big game.

You can’t be everywhere at once and it’s needless to try. Instead, maybe focus on the things you enjoy. Maybe it’s woodworking or a long bike ride. It could be cooking a meal for your family to enjoy and watching Christmas movies on the couch. It may be cleaning your home and making it look pretty even if you are the only person who will ever see your cozy space.

Never let anyone make you feel like these things aren’t enough or that you should be doing more.

I recently flipped through a book about suggested tools for slow living. It mentioned things like a picnic basket, favorite blankets and a couch to enjoy them on. It listed all manner of things like a tea kettle, board games and candles.

My list for daily slow living would include my hiking shoes, paper maps, books, good music and a porch for enjoying the seasons. It would include feeling rested after a good night’s sleep too.

Some people think they lead a boring life. Maybe you do. Maybe you should just reframe your thinking to appreciate that you have time to stop and smell the roses if you’re a gardener or to spend time with your grandkids and feel rested each day.

Do as you please.

Fast life, slow life, adventurous one or somewhere in between – just remember you get this one life and you must live it in a way that makes your soul feel happy.

It’s a constant struggle. Even after years of practice, I still feel myself getting pulled in directions where others believe I should be. If you are a person in my life and I say yes to you, feel special. It doesn’t happen often.

What are your tools for slow living? How do you fight off all the demands other people make on your time? How do you have the life you actually want?