Tag Archives: life choices

Indecision

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Last night I stood in the middle of the living room, holding a precarious stack of books and despairing over what to read next.

I was paralyzed with indecision.

Have you ever struggled in this way when faced with too many choices?

I consistently struggle in three main areas:

  1. Books
  2. Getting rid of things that I might need someday
  3. Choosing a travel destination

When it comes to books, there literally are too many interesting books being released every year on top of all the things written in the past to ever feel like there’s enough time.

Issues with letting go of things seem to be genetic and related to my Appalachian roots where holding on to stuff has been an economic decision. My ancestors knew the value of a dollar, of a thing, and of having a stash of stuff for when you need it. Packrattery is a survival mechanism.

And travel decisions are hard because, like books, there are finite resources (time + money) and an infinite amount of places to go. How do we begin to choose?

These areas have felt like an uphill battle for some time now.

When it comes to travel, I typically take longer trips with adventure pals and shorter trips with my fella. Life circumstances for my adventure pals have made it harder for them to go on those longer journeys. And honestly, I’ve just been lazy about getting some shorter trips on the calendar. I used to have adventure ideas in my back pocket every week. I need to get back to those roots but am often torn by the multitude of places to visit and other life things to do.

But I digress.

Back to that stack of books last night,

I am not an especially fast reader but I am a devoted one. I watch little tv and carry a book nearly everywhere including to the dentist’s office yesterday. Most nights I fall asleep with a book in my hands and wake up to the thunk of it falling on me.

How my face isn’t black and blue is beyond me.

When I finish a book, I pick up another, switching genres to keep things interesting and prevent any ruts from forming.

I like the feel of a physical book in my hands and the smell of a book is one of my very favorite things. If you ever see me smelling a book, keep moving. There’s nothing to see here.

I did finally choose something and I have high hopes for it. All the same, I had reservations when walking away from that stack I had pulled. By itself, that stack represents about a month of reading. We are already about a third of the way through the year. When will I get to them and all the others?

Clearly, there needs to be more reading hours in my day along with more time to travel. And perhaps some time for therapy because I do sound like something of a basket case.

This I know.

We are the culmination of our habits. If we want to do more of something we need to prioritize it and build our habits around that thing.

What do you wish to do more of? Does indecision ever interfere? Please tell me not the only one!

Life Needs An Undo Function

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In the world of computers, there’s a function called “Undo.” It’s literally what it sounds like- you can undo your last change or even the last few changes of a document or file you’re working on.

It’s a fabulous way to fix a mistake or to return to a previous state simply because you changed your mind.

Do you ever wish that life had an undo function? Wouldn’t it be handy to just take back that stupid thing you said or to clean up the egg you dropped on the floor?

I make plenty of mistakes and often say dumb things so it would get a workout in this house.

Yesterday I was staring at my newly-decorated-for-Christmas fireplace mantle and I was sure it could be better. I had combined two simple pine garlands, adding some ornaments, ribbon and pine cones before weaving in some twinkle lights as an afterthought.

Wrong order but it still looked nice enough. Yet I couldn’t leave well enough alone.

That’s mainly because I had hit a great sale at Joann Fabrics the night before and came home with ribbon that would look better than what I had used. Plus, I have this neat garland of pretty silver bells on a rustic jute rope that needed a home and would look great woven into the pine!

Hot diggity! I had a plan!

So I dropped what I was doing, dismantled the perfectly good thing that was done and set about making it “better.”

Hindsight is 20/20 and it is now clear that the road to hell is paved with good intentions, pretty ribbons and bells on jute.

I placed the pine garland, woven with perfectly spaced twinkle lights before setting my sights on those pretty little bells. I figured out how to attach the rope to one end of the pine, immediately sending that half and it’s share of thoughtfully placed lights to the floor.

Huh. This would be harder than I thought.

So I fixed the lights and pine and took another run at it, this time being careful to place the weight of the bells toward the top and back. This sent the entire thing to the floor, leaving the mantle bare.

I will spare you the full story of how many times this didn’t work. Suffice it to say my mind got stuck on an annoying loop of wishing I could just undo the last ten moves. The bells are currently in a pile on the floor as I’m far too disgusted to look at them.

Meanwhile, I put the pine, lights and adornments back to the best of my ability, looping in the new ribbon to add some nice muted color and texture.

And now, as I step back and admire my handiwork, it is clear that I liked it better the other way.

Seriously, friends. Where is that Undo button when you really need it?

Choose Wisely: Social Media Can Be Friend Or Foe

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Lots of friends are leaving or at least cutting back on social media exposure. There’s too much negativity, too many lies, too much sales and not enough meaningful interactions.

And I get it.

I have learned things about longtime friends that I do not want to know. For many, it is a window into the soul that tells me that I have been frighteningly wrong about the hearts and world views of many.

Then there are the people who provoke feelings of inadequacy because their lives look so perfect. They’re buying cars and taking expensive trips you could never afford. Plus, there’s always someone peddling something. That high school friend who ignored you for twenty years until she decided to sell 31 bags comes to mind.

Social media can be downright annoying and sometimes hard on your mental health.

But there is good too. Facebook and Instagram have given me access to all sorts of people and information that would otherwise be much more difficult to find.

That’s why I am careful of how I cultivate my feeds. There are some people who I unfollowed years ago because I know their contribution to my world is detrimental. They bring stress and negativity. They don’t earn their keep because they only point out the wrong without offering solutions. They have nothing good to say about anything.

I like people who can be realistic, who talk about the bad but encourage intelligent dialog. These are my people.

I follow some news organizations that report fairly and thoroughly. I belong to groups and pages that provide me with beautiful images, inspiring words, book recommendations, travel ideas, vegetarian recipes, mid century advertising, home decor ideas and all the other things I find interesting.

I know which pages have followers with useful comments and which pages to avoid the comments. Blocking trolls and scammers is easy. So is unfollowing a page that you don’t care for anymore.

In other words, I manipulate social media to make it work for me.

Instagram seems to naturally attract a more positive audience than Facebook so I’m starting to dwell more there.

If you don’t believe me, follow CBS Sunday Morning on both platforms and study the responses on each. Say they post a story about visiting a national park. On Instagram, the comments will mostly be from people saying how much they love that place, want to visit, vacation memories are amazing, etc. On Facebook, that same story is loaded with complaints and people who blame this president or that one for something totally unrelated. It’s like they’re just looking for a soapbox to vent whatever asinine thing is on their mind.

People really can take anything good and mangle it into a travesty.

All the same, social media has given me a chance to connect with people I have met once in real life. If not for social media, I wouldn’t have taken the Ford Tri-Motor airplane ride last year. I wouldn’t be anxiously awaiting the West Virginia Book Festival where I will finally get to meet author William Kent Krueger this fall. I would not have found the Apple Seed storytelling podcast that has brought me great joy.

The Whole 30 would be much harder if not for social media as it has helped me find great recipes for black bean meatballs and realistic ideas for batch cooking. I may never have found the British version of the sitcom Ghosts!

Cousins scattered across the country would be mere names in a family tree instead of friends. A quiet coworker who loves her cats, flowers and rocks would just be a nice lady I chat with briefly. The man I connected with in a fascinating conversation about race while standing in line at a historic house would just be a memory.

This book! I saw a review in a book group and knew it was for me. I’m halfway through and it’s wonderful!!

HOW would I get all my ideas for random road trips? Sometimes they send me to get a grilled cheese sandwich in a great diner two hours away only to discover a neat abandoned theater and country roads that feed my soul. You never know where one simple tip will lead!

So yeah. Social media can be terrible. But my life is richer thanks to social media. It’s all about how you choose to use it and who you allow to have a voice. Not everyone deserves space in your head so they certainly don’t deserve space in your social media feed.

Choose wisely.